Happy Sunday Everyone:
Its a bit funny to write about a topic everyone else has gone through or will go through, as though I’m the only one that has gone through it. Also, worth noting it’s a lesson in life to remind myself to be as empathetic as possible toward others when they’re telling me their story. In this case, Kim and I are back home after dropping our first born, Jack, off at the U of Oregon, arriving back home last night after an 8-hour drive. Everything was just fine, until we walked into the house, sat down, and started crying. Pretty funny really. Kim’s on the couch, I’m in my favorite chair, and we’re just thinking “WOW” this place already doesn’t feel the same. U of O, being on the quarter system, left Jack to be the last to leave. All our friends have already warned us about the emotional roller coaster that was coming. I’ll apologize now for shrugging them off, turns out they were right. Kim and I found ourselves laughing w/ tears, truly smiling at the sadness of this next chapter of life. Good for him, sad for us. Good for all of us, and probably sad for all of us.
A few thoughts as I sit here with some fresh emotions:
Fresh emotions are great. I recognize none of Jack’s faults, only his strengths and what an absolute beautiful human he is. Jack’s my boy, so he’s always going to get my love, but if I could remind myself of this fact, for anyone I care about, it would serve me well i.e., focus on strengths, it’s all I want to remember for the people I care about when I’m gone, or they’re gone.
Kim is part American Indian. Her grandma would say “don’t judge another Indian until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins”. To my point above, I can lack empathy. I’m laughing at myself with how little thought I gave my friends when they were telling me about their feelings on this topic. They read these, so I can publicly apologize now. Lessons continue to be learned.
Reminding myself to take the long view. This is what we wanted for Jack all along. As important, leaves me thinking with all that’s going on in the world (big picture/and my own picture), not to forget about my own “long view” of my life. I feel like a I’m writing a self-help book here but I’m truly realizing so many things that get me worked up are so absolutely irrelevant when I take the long view of my own life.
So, one more chapter of life is in the books for us.
I also need to recognize a few people on this distribution list that I know and love who have lost their children. I write this with you in my heart, thoughts, and prayers, please know that.