Happy Sunday Everyone:
Hitting the send button week in and week out is an interesting personal experience for me. It’s a combination of where my own head is as well as the content of the Sunday Thoughts. Professional ones are the easiest for me to send, personal ones, involving my wrong doings, the hardest. Mindset on the personal ones go anywhere from “I don’t give a crap what people think of me”, to “who is on this distribution list and will judge me for what I’m writing?”. Usually the former wins over the later and the button gets pushed.
Why do I say this now? Last Sunday Thoughts was the hardest time I have ever had hitting the send button. Admission of giving my kids the silent treatment, about feeling undervalued, and underappreciated….pretty “soft” stuff and truly embarrassing admissions. With that said-I’ve never had so many responses to my Sunday thoughts like I did last week. Clearly I struck a nerve with people. Two different types of messages came back; one was encouragement/counsel/advice, the other was acknowledgment of feeling the exact same way. In both scenarios the responses were positive, encouraging, vulnerable, and bonding. Two main words there for me, vulnerable and bonding.
One thing I’m getting a little more comfortable with is the simple fact that the world is not my oyster. I need to define what I want my oyster to look like and find that oyster. A large part of my oyster is to have big relationships. I can try to define a big relationship or I can just say it’s a feeling. The feeling to describe a big relationship, existing or new, is bonded, and to me, you can’t feel a bond without some level of vulnerability. I’m not suggesting we all need to walk around saying “Hi, I’m hunter, here are my top 3 insecurities”, but we do need to be real. Being real is being vulnerable, it’s letting your guard down. Ask yourself the question, “do I make people have their guard up, or do I allow people to put their guard down?”. Think of 10 people you know and put them in one of two boxes…My guard is up box or my guard is down box. I guarantee you feel bonded with the people in box 2 more so than box 1. I actually run from box 1 people.
Finding it hard to summarize my point so here are some bullets:
* sharing pain makes you relatable. If you don’t want to be relatable it’s your ego talking.
* there is a peace that comes from sharing pain.
* relationships that are built to last are bonded through vulnerability and transparency.
* The judgers are always fewer than you think, the supporters are always greater.
* not the case for everyone, I understand this, but having bigger relationships is what life is all about it.
Project to consider this week, what box are you you for others and what box are they in for you? Move the needle if you’re in the wrong box.
Thanks for reading.