Happy Sunday Everyone:
I think it’s a good thing to be a leader, to consider yourself a leader, and not a bad thing at all to be a follower. I’m not sure everyone is always leading someone else, but it seems to me we’re always following someone else. I think we need to question who we’re following more. Following to me can be anything from seeking advice from a friend you trust and respect, employee to boss relationship, student to teacher, player to coach, child to parent etc…I’m bringing this up for so many reasons that have come up lately it’s hard to summarize in a single Sunday Thought.
Point 1: I’ve noticed a lot of poor/misguided leadership lately, including in myself. I had to give myself a time out on vacation last week, walk to the end of a dock in lake Tahoe, and sit there for an hour (stemming from a lecture after the boys didn’t do the dishes). Realization-I’m giving too much advice to too many people. I don’t have all the answers, don’t act like I do, and stop preaching, in particular to my kids, and sometimes, Kim. Do more, talk less. I have people in my life who every time I turn around, they’re giving me advice, unsolicited, and I really don’t want to be that person. Listen more, talk less. Listen more, don’t give unsolicited advice, listen more, don’t judge, listen more, learn more. Always remember, there is a huge difference between waiting to speak, and listening. I think great leaders, listen, then respond. People follow people who hear them.
Point 2: who are you seeking advice from? I’ve seen people in leadership roles lately say one thing and do another. What they’re promoting is not always what they’re actually doing. We need to question the people we seek advice from and ask why? For better or worse, the people we seek advice from, and the choices we make in who those people are, and what they stand for, will have a direct impact on our own lives. This is something that should be taken seriously. The harder part is questioning yourself as a leader and asking where you stand if someone is writing this statement? Am I talking about you? and if so, what side of the fence do you fall?
Point 3: people following you, and the quality of your followers, is a direct reflection of your leadership. I had two coaching students have their employees tell them when asked what they are doing wrong as leaders respond with “you don’t do what you say you’re going to do”. Those to me are strong employees, with a weak leader, and that won’t last long. In our gut, we know if we’re someone that someone else should bet on. Call a spade a spade, let’s all open our eyes and agree that the people who choose to work with us are a direct reflection of us over time. You can’t complain about your team without complaining about yourself first. You created it, accepted it, and allow it all to take place. Doesn’t all have to be negative either, sometimes you’ve got to pat yourself on the back and know you’re doing something right if you’re proud of the people you work with (I’m that guy right now with my own team). I like the pressure of having good people around me, they expect more, and in turn, get more.
I don’t always like to be held accountable but the exercise of questioning who I’m following, and why, advice I’m seeking, and taking, and why, and then what type of leader I’m being in so many realms of life is necessary and good. Being honest with myself provides clarity, sometimes unwanted clarity. For me, I just want to lead by example, and that of my actions, more, and speak a little less.
Have a great week. If you notice yourself talking too much, stop it.