Happy Sunday Everyone:
I found myself on a treadmill in Cleveland last Wednesday early in the morning after a glass or two more than I needed the night before. Nothing better than a glass wall 3 feet away, lighting that looks like you’re in a changing room, with a pale white face staring back at you. Being on a treadmill staring back at yourself for 45 minutes is kind of a strange experience. I happen to think a lot, I know this isn’t new news. It’s a blessing and a curse.
As I was running, I was thinking about the book club in our division. There are approximately 400 people in our division. There are 15 people in the book club. We get together Friday Mornings at 8:30 and go around the horn on our favorite take aways from the chapters we all agreed to read. Its 30 minutes. What’s weird about it is these 15 people didn’t know each other well before the group started (all locations, different roles etc..), but what dawned on me is I believe all of us would attend the funeral of one of the others if someone passed after the time we’ve spent together. I fully understand this might sound morbid, but I mean it to be the complete opposite. It’s a cliché to talk about funerals, who would attend, what would they say, etc…but I believe it to be a good contemplative benchmark on the quality of our relationships. I think of our little group, everyone is open, shares some reasonable pain points at times, no one judges, everyone listens to the others with care and attention. We all believe we know the other people. You don’t think I’m over here writing this worried about getting judged, and how soft this sounds…but I’m telling you, I’ve never gotten off a call not feeling totally elevated.
What’s my point of the book club and the funeral? It’s a worthy question of the quality of the relationships we have, what we put into them, what others put into them. It keeps the level of care up, front and center. Doesn’t mean you have to go around having deep conversations with every person you talk to but there is a magical formula to the question “does this person know I care about them?” When I think of the primary word that drives you to someone’s funeral, or someone to yours, the word is “impact”. What kind of an impact did this person have on my life? What kind of an impact did I have on that person’s life? The reason I say what I say about our little book club, is I can tell you for me personally, those individuals have a consistent & positive impact on my life. Impact is simple. Answer the following question. What kind of an impact do I have on my family, my friends, my spouse, my kids, my parents, my team, my co-workers, my clients, my business partners, servers, gas attendants, strangers etc. As I’m thinking, maybe we have an impact scale. Impacting my boy’s life requires much more effort/time, but I can still rip the biggest smile a stranger has ever seen when I say hello. I can still leave a fat tip for a server with a note that says, “you crushed your job today”. When I was flying out on Tuesday my buddy was telling me about one of his friends who drives around on Saturday mornings dropping off doughnuts at his friends’ houses, then sends a note out saying, “the doughnut fairy arrived this morning”. That’s the kind of person whose funeral I’d attend. So, when I say, “funeral type of living”, I mean doing our best to stay front and center on having a positive impact on everyone we engage with. If that’s the mindset we take to our hours, days, weeks, months, and years, we’re on to something great.
One of my favorite quotes of all time was from Robin Sharma’s dad:
“When you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries, while you rejoice.”
Hope you have a positive impact on someone today!