Happy Sunday Everyone:
We were on our coaching the coaches call this week discussing the topic and theme for the month. Roy brought up the difference between being transactional vs. relational, and the simple fact that most of us are entirely transactional right now. On the surface level you can take this thought process as a good learning lesson and keep it at the 50,000 foot level i.e. we want to be more relational than transactional and leave it at that. We broke it down further and where it stuck with me the most is when Roy said “transactional is what can I get, relational is what can I give”. Perhaps it stuck with me because when I think of 2020 and how I’ve conducted myself, there has been a lot of “transactional” behavior coming from me. Good news for me is this thought process hasn’t been intentional but recognizing it, acknowledging it, and admitting it, causes me to focus on it and to fix it. It’s important enough that it will be the question I’m asking our team for 2021 as a measuring stick with all of our business partners and clients “are we in a transactional or relational” relationship.
I’m not even sure the words relational vs. transactional is what get me going, it’s more about seeing every situation as what I can I give vs. what can I get. It would appear the end result can be the same, it’s a question of how you made the person feel along the way that’s the difference. What’s hitting home for me right now is realizing having a very packed calendar doesn’t mean I can’t be relational, it just means I need to be more purposeful in the time that I have. A 15 minute call needs to be about “how can I help this person” vs. “I need to get off this call and on to the next”. It’s the difference between being present vs. checking a box. Box checking is transactional, being present is relational.
This is one of those Sunday Thoughts where I have total clarity as to what I mean, just not how to put it all together. I’ll try a few points:
1. Transactional vs. relational is more than “what am I getting vs. what am I giving”, it’s also about being robotic (transactional), vs. being present (relational). Example-talking to someone on the phone while you can hear the keyboard clicking in the background. Calling someone with the mindset of checking a name off the list. Asking your spouse how their day was and not hearing the answer.
2. We can make any transactional relationship relational if we are present enough to choose to do it.
3. Giving is always better than getting, I need to remember that.
Thank you for reading today, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!