Happy Sunday Everyone:
I’m emotionally spent. Had my folks 50th wedding anniversary in my backyard last night with 75 of their closest friends. It was a blow out. Top 5 nights of my life. Obviously personal, no business here, but a reminder for me on the stuff that’s important. Not many make it 50 years (6%), and the ones that do, its an even smaller % for those that enjoyed the ride. How do we all get each other to understand, appreciate, and think about the fact that this all will end someday, and having gratitude for the journey needs to be considered, discussed, and executed on daily. We owe it to each other to appreciate the day.
If you care to read it, below is my toast to my folks, all of which is true.
I asked my dad a long time ago why my mom and dad’s marriage has lasted so long, and with what would appear to be with so much love and joy, his simple response was this “we always seemed to grow together as time went on”. From their kid’s perspective, they grew alongside each other and they always seemed to have each other’s back. For as long as I can remember, it was always my mom and dad against the world….not in a negative way but they were a team then, and they’re a team now. They communicate more than most couples, they talk about each other’s days. My dad still walks into the house, pats my mom on the ass and gives her a kiss, uncomfortable for their kids and grandchildren to witness, but not them.
When I think of the memories of growing up with my folks I think about so many positive things that have shaped my life. I remember a bird crapping on my burger in Laguna Hills and my dad simply saying “eat around it”, lesson learned, waste not want not. I remember saying the f-word when I was 6 only to find myself on my mom’s lap with a wooden spoon, and then her taking me to get a hot fudge sunday because she felt so bad….lesson learned, some things are worth the pain.
In all seriousness-I have learned so many things that truly have shaped my life from my parents. As their son, they both have served as role models of what hard work, discipline, morality, friendship, and love can do for you in your life. They have taught Hillary and I so much, not through coaching or official parenting, but simply watching their actions. It is a known fact that actions speak louder than words and when someone, as important as parents, actions are in line, and louder than the words they profess, it’s a very good thing for their kids.
When I reflect on 50 years of marriage with my parents, and not just years, but great years, I think of what I have learned from them, what makes 50 great years take place. Here are some things I’ve found:
1. My mom and dad always supported each other, they were always a team. They supported each other through life, Vietnam to retirement, to major surgeries gone wrong, always there for each other w/ massive love. Until you see your mom hurting for your dad, but staying strong for him, and for us, you don’t quite grasp how strong your mom is.
2. They never stopped talking to each other, they never stopped listening. By talking every day, they never had the opportunity to grow apart.
3. They respect one another. My parents have had some battles, and I’ve witnessed them, but I’ve never seen them hurt each other emotionally.
4. They genuinely enjoy being together. If you’ve been with my parents in lake Tahoe, and you’ve witnessed the skipper and his first mate, its pure magic. Those two could get on that boat, just the two of them, and ride off into the sunset and never look back. The only time this didn’t work is perhaps on the golf course, the tennis court, or playing bridge,….those times together didn’t work.
5. They enjoy making each other happy. This might sound obvious but easier said than done. To me, this is the one that gets you through 50 years. This is where co-dependency can almost be a good thing. They are selfless toward one another and certainly to their children and grandchildren. I’ve never seen one of them think of themselves first.
From what I can see, there is nothing more vulnerable than love. If you’re going to experience all that it has to offer, you’re throwing yourself out there and running the risk of getting crushed. Our parents went all in 50 years ago and there were bumps and bruises along the way but both of them would tell you they love each other massively, and more so today than on July 22, 1967. They are role models for Hillary and I, and Kim, and Keith. They are role models to their grandchildren Jack, Tatum, Thomas, and CJ. To a large degree they are role models to everyone here tonight. They’re as good as it gets. Hillary and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As we celebrate tonight, Hillary and I would like to raise a glass for the two people who brought us into this world. They are a blessing to everyone who has been lucky enough to be around them, to everyone here tonight. We adore them and everything they stand for. They are simply the best and ultimate example of what love can be. Cheers to this awesome couple, and happy 50th!!