Happy Sunday Everyone:
I had a client signing yesterday morning at 7:30. Combination of a mobile notary and a weekend signing always makes you slightly nervous (out of state). If something isn’t right, it’s not going to be made right until Monday. These clients are nice, but they’re particular, and rightfully so, but we’ve had a few things come up and were on our toes to make sure we covered our bases, as we should always be doing. On top of that it’s the first opportunity I’ve had with the Realtor, so although trust is established with the team, it’s not with her. Sure enough, I’m out for a run, phone rings, there appear to be issues an clients aren’t happy as they vocalize. Issues I don’t think are issues but I can’t answer it emphatically because the escrow office is closed. I do know we did everything right in reviewing docs ahead of time, confirming everything is good etc….We agree they’re not going to continue to sign because they’re uncomfortable and reconvene on Monday, which isn’t good for closing on time, and certainly from an overall client experience. I get done with my run, and received a follow up txt from them that they did sign as they realized their biggest concern was on them, although there were still a couple of questions that needed to be answered, but that could wait until Monday. I then received an email from the Realtor asking very simply to confirm there were some issues, are they being resolved, and are we still on track? i.e.
Go back to me hanging up the phone 1/2 mile into a long run. For the rest of my run, my brain goes into defense mode. I know I’m right, they’re wrong. I need to prove that I’m right, I need to make sure I don’t look bad, this is their fault, not mine. I need to confirm when I get back that we did everything right, and then I need to reach out to the Realtor and explain all of this. This crap goes through my head for the rest of my run. When I get home, I do just that, confirm “this isn’t our fault”. Although I explained the resolution to the Realtor on email, I also defended myself slightly. I don’t completely toss the client under the bus but the email was longer than it needed to be, in part w/ my defense language.
Why am I telling you this embarrassing story? When I think clearly through this, I think about the need to be right and how unimportant it is in so many cases. Being right is one thing, solving a problem is another. If being right takes priority over finding resolution, you have a problem. If defending your position takes priority over resolution, you have a problem. It’s easier said than done. There are shades of grey all over this. What is the balance of defending your ground i.e. not letting people walk all over you vs. finding resolution, especially when there are multiple parties. If there was formula it would compound itself with each human involved. Formula for me looks like (competency level)+(level of needing to be right vs. desire to find resolution)=(quality of final outcome). If my competency level is 8-10, my desire to find resolution is 8-10, and my need to be right is a 3, quality of final outcome will be strong. If my competency level is a 8-10, and my needing to be right is 10, and my desire to find resolution is a 3, quality of final outcome is going to suck. As I type this, the formula might not get published in mathematics weekly, but it will serve as a reminder to me to flush my ego, and resolve the issue…that’s what makes me valuable, not being right.
To add to the complexity of this, and for me in this situation, is realizing part of my desire to be right has to do with my belief of their desire to be right. I might start as a 4 on the need to be right, but if I believe their desire is a 10, my ego pushes my desire to be right higher and desire for resolution lower. Magic for me, in the future, will be when I take a step back, recognize this person wants to be right, and not let it faze me in my desire to find resolution i.e. separate the two.
It would serve us all well to recognize when we’re pushing to be right, there is an exact negative correlation with your desire for resolution. I’m realizing this with my kids as I type this. Perhaps this will serve as a trigger for you next time you find yourself making sure you’re winning your point…as everyone else is leaving the room.
Have a great rest of your Sunday!