Happy Sunday Everyone-
I’m a journaler, it’s part of my morning routine. I was asked by a non-journaler last week “what do you journal about?”….my response, “anything that’s on my mind”. All of our brains are made for processing information, emotions, and everything in between. I look at journaling as a way to free up limited space in my head by getting things on paper. I think journaling helps create clarity of what is important to you in general, and certainly at given points of time in our lives.
I was journaling on Monday and started the title with “take control of my life, day 1”. This one will be hard to articulate but I’ll do my best. I had just read a part in a book where a guy grew up in the 1800’s. He was always sick, always failing, never meeting expectations of his family, and he decided he was going to take control of his life for 1 year. At the end of the year, he was either going to be where he wanted to be, or he was going to take his life. This guy ended up being the founder of American Psychology. There is absolutely no correlation to his thought process and mine except the exercise of “taking control of my life”, and what that means. If I had to think of one word this exercise has provided me in the past week, I’d say “grace”, or “personal grace”. Giving myself a break. Giving myself grace. Feels lighter. Feels more open minded, less judgy on myself and others. Kind of a strange thing…really a strange thing, but I like it. I’m going to go on a limb here and give you a journal entry from last week.
5/25-Take control of my life Day 4, 247.8 (my weight).
“I feel good this week. I’m coming at my job with more energy, winning the client at all costs and understanding this is a moment in time. Study the game. Enjoy my run, enjoy my life. I need to find more outlets to gain knowledge and wisdom. I find peace in prayer. I feel my heart softening. I like Ben Franklin’s 13 virtues. Temperance is one I need to bring into my own life. I love the idea of putting his 13 virtues into practice one week at a time 4x a year. I love my life. I love my family. I love who I am right now, who I am becoming. I’m going to go out for a run, listen to my music, and be grateful for everything in my life.”
I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to make my point and just looked at “take control of my life Day 1″….explains my thought process better than rewriting.
5/22 Take control of my life Day 1, 248
“I’m excited about this, let’s see what i can do here Mr. Marckwardt. What does me taking control of my life look like? I’d say it starts with health and the choices I make & what goes into my body. How I’m exercising, how I’m feeling. Its prioritizing what is important in my life. What kind of support am I offering to those around me. How do I feel I’m living my life? I’m truly excited about this. It’s not just about taking control of my life but more importantly ENJOYING my life. I need to think back to the conversation I had with my dad. I also have to remember what i said “we will honor your life through living ours”. I need to do that!! Drink water, be healthy, love the production of what I can produce. Deliver on everything I said I was going to do. Make a difference in people’s lives”.
My close friends are going to have a field day for me sharing this, that’s okay, I’m ready. For me, talking about the concept of “taking control of my life” is a healthy balance of personal accountability to steer my ship in the direction I want to go, with purpose, while also giving myself a lot of grace to be present in the here and now. I’m finding that personal grace is creating a lighter version of me, and that lightness allows for a lot more sun light to come through the door of my life. I do wish you could feel what I’m feeling vs. trying to use my words to describe it. It’s good. You might consider what “taking control of your life” looks like to you?
Happy Memorial Day Weekend. Enjoy the time with your loved ones & friends.