Happy Sunday Everyone:
I had couple of interesting conversations with friends in the past two weeks around leadership, both casual and somewhat unintentional. One person said they don’t consider themselves to be a good leader but also know that people seek their approval but are confused as to why. The other person suggested they don’t believe they have the right to lead in certain areas because of past failures. I took the conversations as interesting but didn’t think more about it.
Fast forward to yesterday, I’m finishing up my favorite book of 2020, “Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty and he’s talking about relationships and trust. This last part is about who you seek counsel from and why. Had me thinking about my previous conversations with my two friends. Had me thinking about who I seek counsel from and why, who I seek approval from and why, and whether or not I’m looking at this the right way, or not. I’m realizing now, and I’m hopeful to pay this forward to you, that we might be more intentional on who we’re seeking counsel from, and more importantly, “why” we’re seeking it. Equally important is reversing the lens on ourselves. We are all leaders in a variety of capacities, could be parenthood, sibling, friend, boss, employee, we’re all leading at some level, intentionally or not.
I’m ripping off Jay Shetty’s four C’s to evaluate who I seek council from, and as a reminder to me, whether or not I have the right to have others seek council from me.
“Competence. When someone is competent it allows us to trust their opinions and recommendations.
Care. When we are putting our emotions into someone’s hands, we need to know they care and that they have your best interests in mind.
Character. We look to those with a strong moral compass and uncompromising values to trust. They help us when we feel uncertain or need wisdom and guidance.
Consistency – There are certain people you can count on who are reliable, present, and available when you need them. These people will stick with you through the highs and lows.”
Many of us are seeking both counsel and approval from the wrong people in the wrong capacities. It’s not a one size fits all, it’s why we should have a network of advisors, our own personal board of directors (not an original thought on that one), based on a variety of capacities, but the baseline metrics are competence, care, character, and consistency. There are times when I’m not competent to offer advice, there are times I don’t care, the only one I’d like to believe I possess at all times is character. Anyone seeking advice/counsel from me would be well suited to walk me through the 4’c’s as it relates to their situation and I’d be well suited to do the same.
Thinking of the advice I give and the advice I seek through this lens is liberating and creates a level of clarity that I haven’t found in the past.
For what its worth, the 2 friends I mentioned above are people I seek advice from in a variety of capacities.
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.