Happy Sunday Everyone:
Two things happened Friday Morning that created this thought today. Friday was Valentines Day, I did my morning routine, came upstairs, and found Kim crying. This is a real bad sign on Valentines Day. Anyone that knows our relationship, Kim is the thermostat, I’m the thermometer. She’s steady eddy, this is not like her at all. First thought is “what did i do?”, thankfully nothing. The tears were coming from the reality of being empty nesters and her primary form of relevance changing. No immediate solution or outcome, we just talked about it.
I left the house to meet with my buddy, Don. Anyone reading this for a while, know Don as my biggest mentor aside from my dad. We’ve been meeting every Tuesday for 20 years (Friday this time because of my travel). There was Tuesday with Morrie, I have Tuesdays with Don. His life story is insane on accomplishments, setbacks, health, and faith. CEO, close to bankrupt, pancreatic cancer, liver cancer, brain tumors, amazing family today but struggles along the way. Faith like no one else I know. When I sat down at his house, I told him about Kim. It was 10 years ago when Don was talking to me about his fear of losing his relevance when he retired from work. Many of people have sought counsel from Don, the thought of him becoming less relevant 10 years ago is the exact same feeling Kim had Friday morning.
When I came in, Don had something waiting for me that he wanted me to read. It was a letter from his son, Chris. Chris is an amazing son, father, and teacher today. He was addicted to drugs and on the streets of San Francisco 35 years ago, Don had to let him go entirely to get him back entirely. Fast forward to this Christmas. Don had decided no monetary gifts, only handmade items or words. I’m going to type out what Chris wrote but the point of all this today is the simple fact that there are people in our lives that were 100% relevant to anything that is good in our life today. Kim is an amazing mother to our boys, Don is an amazing friend/mentor/father, both have contemplated their relevance. If they contemplate their relevance, from my perspective it means everyone at one time, or another contemplates their relevance. Those that have been relevant to your growth deserve to be recognized, especially in the development of anything good about you.
Chris’s Letter to his dad (Don)-
“Pops, how wonderful that we can all be together this year! So much love in this beautiful house! I can’t believe I’m 55 and your 85 and Lyly is 22! Where did the time go? So glad we are all here to celebrate TOGETHER! Thanks for creating such deep meaning and positive praise for all our special b-days and holidays. We always appreciate what you SAY & DO for us. You have done a fine job of keeping all of us together through the years, not only together, but filled with LOVE, MEANING, and INSPIRATION. I always try to create deeper meaning when I bring people together thanks to you. I’m not afraid to talk about feelings and love with others thanks to you. I listen with my heart thanks to you. I teach with patience, kindness, and empathy thanks to you. What a beautiful life having you at the helm always making our lives feel so uplifted and supported. You have planted the seed of LOVE & FRIENDSHIP within all of us. Great job, I love you to the moon and back! Chris”
This is a long one, hopefully you’re still reading it. We’re all going to get hit with that feeling of “Am I relevant” at one point or another. Our relevance is going to change based on where we are in our life cycle, not go away, but change. The other side is being aware of this and helping all those that are/were relevant to your life know it. It’s a win win at the highest level. I think of Don and Chris as the perfect example.