Happy Sunday Everyone:
Been a couple of weeks. I’ve had plenty to write about, lessons, experiences, questions, etc…but sometimes it’s better to keep it between the ears, or in my own journal. One thing that has stopped me was not wanting to appear every Sunday Thoughts being about my dad. I said I’d unapologetically write about him as it’s my life, my learns (not sure if that’s a word), but there is a difference between writing about him, and simply having so many of my experiences right now tied somehow to his passing. It just is what it is. Onward.
We’d been working with a couple for the past year (John/Sue) to move them out from the midwest. Ironically, the reason was to be closer to their kids and grandkids. In that course of time, we talked about business, getting them here, terms, how we’d structure, selling their 40 year home etc… but also about their personal life, they’re good people. Fast forward, they go into contract right while we were dealing with all my dad’s stuff. Erica (my partner) and our team handled everything to perfection, but when I settled in, I called to check in and congratulate them. They had me on speaker phone and as I was saying congratulations etc…Sue interrupted me, she said “Hunter, stop, we’re so incredibly sorry about your dad’s passing, please tell us about him”. We talked for a while about the service, I finally told John I’d send him the link for the church’s recording. One of my proudest moments in my life is watching my boys talk about their grandpa in front of such a large audience. John had sent me a nice email a couple of weeks ago after watching the video, but on Wednesday they asked if they could drop something off for me. We hooked up, I gave them both hugs and he handed me a manilla envelope. I opened it when they left, inside was a note and a small book. The note:
“Hunter-As i mentioned before, the eulogies of your dad by you, your sons, and your sister touched me, I can only aspire to be the kind of father and grandpa that he was. I am sending this book (The Grandpa Tree) for you to share with his grandchildren. It’s an allegory about the circle of life. It might provide them with a bit of comfort and more perspective about their grandpa’s passing. Thinking of you and your family, John.”
Trying to not make this the longest Sunday Thoughts ever but we were simply doing their loan, next he’s watching my dad’s eulogy, and we’re hugging over a book he thinks my dad’s grandkids need to read. I’ve really been thinking about it, how did we get from our initial conversation to Wednesday? I believe it’s having a relational mindset vs. a transactional mindset. At this stage of my life and my career, my priority is on the relationships, not the transactions. Is it scalable? I don’t really know, and not sure I care. I’m not trying to be quicken, I know that. I came up with a quadrant w/ four words, relational, transactional, long term, short. So, you have:
long term, relational relationships
short term, relational relationships
long term, transactional relationships
short term, transactional relationships
Goal for me is to get everyone into box number 1 and 2. It just takes a little extra thought, kindness, and a genuine interest in someone else i.e.. listening more than talking. I probably like this stuff more than most but picture every relationship you have, what box do they fit in and why?
Ultimate example-I had a friend of a friend approach me last month. He wanted to tell me a story about his son, he had come home for Christmas break and was a server at a restaurant in Danville. He came home one night from the restaurant to tell his dad about this amazing experience he had with this super engaged older man, and what an impression it had left on him, he later found out of course, it was my dad, two days before his passing. My dad had mastered box 1 and 2 and his life was a reflection of it.
Life is about box 1 and 2.
Let’s get some 3 & 4’s into 1 and 2 this week. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.