Happy Sunday Everyone:
The last few weeks have a been a little strange out here. It goes without saying the whole year has actually been bat sh@t crazy but an emphasis on the last few weeks…for me at least. Optimism is hard to come by, clarity even worse. Wake up, air quality, 180, run, no. Next day, wake up, air quality 170, run, no. Next day, is that a solar eclipse? nope, it’s just pitch black at 11:00 AM because of the smoke, run, no. At some point you actually realize you’re slightly depressed, pissed off, unhappy, and lost. Any takers? Am I on an island? who is with me?
So I’m talking to my coach, and one of my best friends, JJ, and he tells me to write a 5 year story, to help me look through the trees a bit and gain some perspective. In thinking through the exercise it crossed my mind there is a difference between projecting out 5 years, and looking back 5 years later. To vision yourself looking back from a futuristic perspective is a strange and a very cool exercise (I can literally hear my mom right now saying “this sounds weird Hunter”). At 38 I wrote a 5 year vision, and most of it came true, which is cool, but reflecting back and painting a picture you haven’t created yet is a very difference exercise. Vision forward requires goal setting, bench marks, and targets, looking back requires more of a bigger picture view. It’s not just about the goals & the numbers, it’s about the what it all feels like. It requires a much deeper sense of what you want your life to look like. All I can say, I say sit here, is my wish for anyone reading this is to try it the exercise on for yourself. I had the best week of my 2020 last week and I believe in large part because of the look back on my life at 51 (five years from now). I broke it down to family, love life, faith, financials, career, friends, health, adventure, and mindset.
Examples help create clarity so I’m going out on a very delicate limb here in sharing my 5 year look back with you. My hope in doing so is you can see it as a structural example of what the exercise looks like. Kim and I are sitting here deliberating this and I’m thinking, “am I really sending this out”. Kim said “you’re either all in or you’re all out”….so F it….here it is. Only thing I took out was work and put some XXXX’s around finances.
My 5 year look back is below.
It’s September 2025, I’m 51, I’m looking back and grateful I wrote this path out for myself as a guiding light to have directed myself in the direction I wanted to go. There have been some alterations but by and large having this serve as a compass for my life has been a great exercise and I’m glad JJ challenged me to do it in 2020.
My health is paramount. 2020/covid watching some friends pass, others coming down with illnesses that were reflective around their life styles has continued to prove to me that I’m not bullet proof. Mindset around health has changed from chore to genuine personal satisfaction. I weight 220lbs, I eat well, drink well, & sleep well. All joking aside, my body is my temple and I treat it as such. I have become more adventuresome on exercise and push myself physically like I do mentally, this brings me great satisfaction. Consistency has been the key and making my health a priority. My weekdays and weekends are reflective of my need to take care of my body, both physically and mentally. Meditation/journaling/reading/praying are the cornerstone of my daily rituals.
Kim and I are doing great after 26 years of marriage. We’re getting used to being empty nesters. Our love life is still hitting on all cylinders and we’re finding some calm in slowing down a bit. Although I still love my morning rituals and getting up early, Kim and I spend more time together in the morning. She has me a little more adventurous on group workout activities, spinning & yoga. We’ve found reading books at the same time and discussing them together helps us grow together and communicate on topics outside of kids. We’re still not 100% sure where we will retire or if we want a 2nd home but we’re enjoying traveling more and renting homes 1-2 weeks at a time to get to know different areas around the country and see if any stand out.
Our boys are thriving. Thomas and Jack are best of friends and have each other’s back. They remind of the boys in a river runs through it (in all the good ways). Thomas ever pushing the limits while Jack expanding his. Both boys are kind & good humans. I need to remember that’s what we asked for out of the gates, and that’s what we got, and that is all we need as the base line for their lives. Jack is in his senior year of college, Thomas is a sophomore. Both boys are focusing on areas that interest them and are doing activities around those interests. We have done as much as we can to help them define their interests on their own and to put themselves in a position to act on the areas they’re passionate about. I’m doing my best to continuously give them permission to follow their own dreams vs. the dreams of “being successful”. I want to break the mold and have them do what they are passionate about vs. what they think they need to do to please us, or anyone else. Both boys understand the value of a dollar, they respect women, they treat their mom and dad with respect, and they are assets to society.
We love spending time with all of our friends. We also love playing our own game. Even at the time of writing this, I can say I’m very proud of Kim and I and how we look at our friendships. We’ve continued to root for all of our friends, we’ve continued to want to be a part of their growth and also help them when they’re down. So glad the days in my 30’s are gone where I compared myself to friends. Our local unit is so tight, we continue to love being with one another, I say don’t change what isn’t broken. I do my best to stay in better contact with people that have brought so much richness to my life who aren’t around me physically, primarily my CORE brothers and sisters. The concept of iron sharpers iron is alive and well and I need to consistently remind myself of this. Not always in business, but just to keep my head in check.
Financially things are in a place I had once said we’d be, but not sure I ever believed it, now I do. We have surpassed a cash net worth of $X We’ve invested smartly with our advisors. We’re now in a position where the compound effect shall do its work over time and we will continue to build a financial foundation that will allow us to make decisions to help our families, our community, and ourselves, in a way I didn’t really think would come. Now that it’s here, I push myself to remember how hard I worked for it, and how much I need to be present enough to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Not in the sense of buying material things, but in the mindset of appreciating what I have and allowing myself to calm down a bit on the quest for more. I need to remember “it’s enough”….If I’m not sleeping better at the time of reading this, I’m a jackass who doesn’t deserve it.
Spirituality and Health are similar. The mindset has shifted from a “chore” because I know I want to be a better human to embracing the feeling in my heart that focusing on spirituality delivers for me. I truly believe if I turn it over to God I will have a peace that surpasses all understanding and it’s a peace I seek and put energy into. I know the rewards that will come from it. Lack of judgement, self-worth, being a better teacher and a student, being a better husband, father, friend, and co-worker. Being a better example to the world and to my own self, this is what comes from me focusing on my spirituality and my faith. I have found an appreciation for the study and interpretation of the Bible and look at is as my ultimate book of self-help. My faith is not a “piece” of my life, it is the cornerstone and I invest time and energy into it. Its foundational for Kim and I. I’m still private about my faith but its growing inside of me. My favorite thought is my friend Don Colebourn and what he always told me and taught me, lead your life with such a sense of hope that all people can do is want to be a part of it.
I’ve come to the conclusion at 51 my hobbies consist of personal growth & development, being a master chef and my love for wine. I am what I am and have finally accepted that. There is what I thought I wanted to be and there is who I am…and I love to eat and drink. Having spent more time in understanding what I’m eating/cooking/drinking has brought an even greater appreciation for the art of food and wine. Kim is my co-pilot in this although still simply enjoys the chardonnay.
My emotional state is one of joy primarily. I will always be my father’s son. I will always be a little high strung, a little intense, a little stubborn, but I have softened (on the inside) these past 5 years. I’ve come to accept things for what they are. I get emotionally wrapped up around the things that are important to me, and let go of the things that are not. I make decisions that make my life, and the life of those around me, better. I don’t fear change and I believe in driving the ball forward. To walk through life with indecision or frustration for more than a moment is a bit crazy and I’m realizing the ball is usually, if not always, in my own hands, and it’s up to me to continue to determine what kind of life I’m going to have. The peace I have for accepting the things I can control and understanding what I cannot has been liberating to my soul and it’s something I think about all the time to keep me on track. What I can control is me, what I can hopefully influence in a positive way, are those I love, and for situations I can’t control or influence, this is okay too. I love my life & I’m grateful for this journey. I’ve done my best and my best is good enough.