Happy Sunday Everyone:
Thanks to two great friends, Shayla Gifford and Lisa Wells, I was introduced to John Israel, aka “Mr. Thank You”. I’m interviewing John for our whole company on Wednesday. John challenged himself to write 5 high quality “thank you” cards a day, for a year. Any day he missed, $1000 fine. What he learned from this experiment/challenge along the way is pretty awesome and totally interesting to me. This one year project lead to national/international news, a Ted Talk, and a book. I just finished his book to help myself prepare for the interview and one of the things he did, which might sound a little strange without giving you full context, was to write a note to his younger/past self. It wasn’t a note of “thank you” as much of a note of “amends” and “it’s okay”…not really the point of today’s ST’s so I’ll keep moving but hopefully more to come.
Thinking about 2021 and what I want it to look like, I took a lesson from John’s playbook and wrote myself a note. I found this exercise to be incredibly helpful and clarifying. Here is my note:
Dear Self:
You work really hard, you’ve turned out to be a pretty decent guy by most people’s standards. You have an amazing wife, you have two boys who love you a ton and look up to you, your mom/dad/sister are all within 3 miles and everyone gets along great. You have a network of friends that is beyond description both personally and professionally. You’ve created a life for yourself that has turned out to be pretty freaking amazing. “Most” of the things you’ve put your mind and heart into have turned out the way you wanted them to. You are living a great life.
My issue with you is that you don’t enjoy the ride. You’re rarely present enough to sit back and look at what surrounds you. You have a propensity to be a fault finder vs. a good finder in yourself and others. The glass is half empty vs. half full. You anticipate negative events in the future that haven’t taken place, which makes you borderline nuts.
Here is the good news-because I am in fact you, I forgive you for the grumpy side, the negative side, the Eeyore side. With that said-forgiveness and acceptance are two different things and we’re making changes for the better in 2021. Here are some points you’re going to focus on in 2021 to make sure you’re making progress :
1. You will have fun in 2021. You’ve never made this a priority but you need to relax and have some fun. Having fun is not a bad thing. You can have fun and work hard at the same time. You think if you’re not “grinding”, you’re not worthy of your job, and you’re wrong, have fun.
2. You will smile more in 2021. Sounds simple, not for you. No one will ask you in 2021 “what’s wrong” by the look on your face. Purposefully smile more. Tell everyone around you you’re working on smiling more.
3. You will take care of yourself first in 2021. Sounds selfish, it’s not. Your priorities start with what is most important to you. You taking care of yourself physically and mentally is. your #1 priority. You need to remind yourself of what your priorities are when evaluating where you’re spending your time.
4. You will take life less serious in 2021. This is different than having fun, you need to “relax” more, don’t get yourself all worked up over silly items that have no real relevance to your life. You will focus on what you have and not what you do not. What you have is in abundance, to look at it any other way is selfish. Lighten your load brother, chill out.
5. You will be present with Kim and the boys. You’ve always said one of your favorite questions from Jim Bass was “does your family get the best of you or the rest of you?”….2020, they got the rest, 2021, they’re getting the best. You noticed just yesterday when you purposefully engage with both of them, they stick around and engage right back. Jack has 1 year left at home! Engage.
I love you and we got this, we just need to focus on it more than any time in the past. You’re 46, you’re not having this conversation again at 47. You need to remind yourself on a daily basis how good this life is and how much you have to be thankful for. You have to enjoy the ride. When you’re hitting on all cylinders, when your gratitude and joy meters are maxed out, you’re so much happier and you love life so much more. So knowing that and having that clarity, why would you choose to go through life any other way. Please print this out, make 3 copies, laminate it, and keep it on your desk at work, next to your big chair and home, and in your car, read it every day.
With love and appreciation-
Hunter
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If I had to explain doing this exercise I would say it was, reflective, clarifying, liberating, and exciting. If you think you’re worth the time, I’d highly recommend it.
Enjoy your Sunday.