Happy Sunday Everyone-
I was meeting with a friend for a drink on Wednesday. He’s heavy, I’m heavy. Anyone that knows us well, especially our wives, would say “they’re not easy”. We always end up in big conversations about life and everything in between. A conversation point was our communication with our families. He was giving me an example of a conversation he had with his wife. I asked him “is that literally how you spoke with her”…he said “yeah, why”….I started laughing and asked if he had considered his tone/messaging. I’m laughing at his example because of how many times I’ve done it myself with Kim/Jack/Thomas aka-“Mr. Authority”. He and I are both open enough to recognize our flaws, that being one of them. I mentioned my funeral, and smiled at the idea of Kim saying “he was intense, he was authoritative, he carried a heavy burden, you could feel his stress”….that is not what I want Kim saying at my funeral.
Where it gets interesting from a timing perspective is I’ve been intentional about lightening my load. Truly, it has become a daily thought. As scenarios come at me all day, I’ve been better to say, “is this in my control?”, if not, let it go. If I’m trying to fix something or someone, I’m finding myself saying “I can’t want this more for this person than they want it for themselves”….and I let it go (with limited anger/frustration). Problems arise at work, I’m more present to say “proving I’m right helps nothing except my ego”….solve the problem, and move on…don’t get emotionally attached to it. I’m more intentional to tell the boys I love them, I’m proud of them. I’m more intentional about telling Kim I’m lucky I found her. I’m more intentional with our team at work, for them to know I care about them. I’m less serious/intense. I’m simply lighter. The beauty of my little project is that it’s a win win. For me, I truly feel lighter, I have less stress, I have more joy, I have more presence in the current moment. The response from those around me seems to be felt too. I realized last week; Jack and Thomas call me 2-3X a day all of the sudden. They want to tell me about their days, they want to ask questions, Jack on selling skills, Thomas on best ways to produce an ice bath….classic stuff for a 19/17-year-old. Its honestly amazing. I ask myself, “is this me being lighter? is this them growing up? is it a combination of both?”…I think it’s all of the above.
Being lighter is more attractive. It’s almost selfish, because it’s as good for me as it is for the people around me. I asked Kim and the boys if they could feel it, answer was “are you kidding, YES”. There is a direction correlation to the number of smiles one produces in a day to the lightness they feel. It’s hard to produce a smile while carrying a nonexistent heavy burden. What constitutes a heavy burden? I’m honestly not sure, I think it’s in our heads. None of what I’m saying means I don’t accept responsibility for the role I choose to take while I’m here, but I can take responsibility without carrying the load. You can be responsible and light. Took me 48 years to realize I can be responsible and light all at the same time. Of all the lessons age/life have provided me, this one is up there at the top. The challenges, the problems, the issues, they haven’t gone away, but how I see them has forever changed. I believe I’m in a much better position to solve anything with a lighten the load mindset. I’m in a much better position to enjoy my life with a lighten the load mindset.