Happy Sunday Everyone:
There are certain scenes in movies that serve as great examples of situations in real life. For better, and at times, what feels like worse, our company has been acquired as I noted last week. It is impossible for an acquisition of this magnitude to be a bunch of rainbows and butterflies. Change is hard, it requires learning new systems, navigating new relationships, not knowing how to find answers easily, from 401k questions to urgent underwriting requests that can impact a client’s loan, it’s hard. Having an active role in all of it, I’m learning along the way myself, a lot. I’m also realizing some tried and true components to relationship management is never more critical than times like this. This is where I love the scene of Tom Cruise screaming at Cuba Gooding Jr. “HELP ME, HELP YOU, HELP ME, HELP YOU”…..I literally can get in the way of people trying to help me, and people can get in the way of others trying to help them. Good question to ask ourselves, “am I putting myself in a better position to receive help or worse, would I want to help me?”. When I’m the best version of me I want others to “want” to help me vs. “need” to help me.
I’m certainly far from a trained McKinsey Consultant, but some observations in all of this to get the best possible outcome.
Take time to understand the “why”. My partner Erica does this better than anyone. If she can’t explain “why” something needs to happen, it’s a failure. By explaining “why”, it minimizes the emotions and forces an attack on the problem at hand, and not the person delivering the info i.e., attack problems, not people. If you can’t explain to someone why you’re telling them yes or no, you shouldn’t be delivering the message. It’s not always fun but when you’re understanding the “why”, you’re also growing your brain share, knowledge base. I’m probably smarter because of the last 30 days compared to the last 2 years.
Pick your battles. I love the quote “Is this the hill you really want to die on?” as an example of how passionate do I want to get about this argument? Sometimes we get so emotionally charged about somethings that yield maximum effort and minimum result. We all have to compromise. Personal thing for marriage i.e., if this is a 10 important for Kim and 1 important for me, let it go. Same goes for work.
Lead down, complain up-complaining to people that report to you fuels negative fire. Doesn’t mean you can’t be real, but there is a difference between negative gossip and identifying issues that need resolution. I’ve been guilty of this myself, it’s stupid and horrible leadership to complain down.
One of our team rules, bad news is delivered by phone, good news is delivered by email. It’s not always possible but you have to pick up the phone. Conflict resolution is rarely going to be solved by email. The solution will be documented by email, but the resolution will likely take place by phone/person.
One to one email gets you further than group. It establishes one to one trust. Recognize if someone really needs to be on the email. You have a much greater likelihood of a person reading an email that was sent to only them compared to multiple people. Blasting one person by email to multiple people will end a relationship on the spot. Everyone should take 15 minutes to look at email etiquette on To. CC, BCC and how to use appropriately.
Keep track of the problem solvers. We have a folder for our go to people in IT, underwriting, finance, marketing, Loan officers who can help navigate. We all need to work to follow the process but not everyone is created equal in skill set and care. Respect their time but finding the trusted advisors in any organization is important.
If I had to summarize the whole thing; You need to explain the “why” if you’re giving an answer, you deserve to understand the “why” if you’re receiving the answer. If the “why” isn’t coming, determine how important the issue you is to you. If it’s worth fighting for, get on the phone for resolution, minimize group email blasts. Understand most people you’re working with are trying to help.
Overall thoughts is we all go through waves of emotions and frustrations when our cheese gets moved. The more we can keep our emotions between a 4 and a 6, and our desire to solve and learn at a 9-10, the better everything is going to work out, and quicker.
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.