Happy Sunday Everyone:
I’m sitting here in the lobby of my hotel in Tucson, Arizona, writing Sunday Thoughts. Coaching Summit just ended, and Kim and boys came out to visit (Kim and I met at U of A on first day school, a very long time ago). I’m wearing a sweatshirt given to all the coaches, and it say FearLess, fear on the top, less underneath. You could easily look at that, or read this, and say “highly motivated after day one”, or “cheesy inspirational message”, and that’s exactly what I would have said before entering my first summit, 9 years ago. Today is different.
What’s so interesting to me, about my sweatshirt, is that Rick Ruby, who owns CORE, and has become a good friend of mine, called Jack (my son), a few years ago and left him a message. I had told Rick that Jack was freaking out in baseball because he had been moved to catcher and didn’t really know the position. Jack, probably like his dad, thinks too much and he can get himself into a tails spin if allowed. So Rick left him a message about fear, I remember it to this day, he said “people like your dad and me, don’t go through life without fear, we’re not fearless, we just have less fear, we work through our fears by actions, and by dong that, we end up with less fear in everything we do moving forward”. For many of you that know Rick well, it ended with “SO GET OFF YOUR BUTT, GET IN A SQUAT AND START CATCHING SOME BASEBALLS”.
I’d like to just throw fear out the window. It doesn’t serve any positive purpose but it’s something that many of us struggle with, including me. How do we take some baby steps around fear? For me, it’s asking myself why do I fear this? what is my mindset right now around this, and how do I change it” ? As an example, I had to do a class on “closing skills” while I was here. 150 people in the room listening to me (and Jim Bass), talk about closing skills, my mindset was simple, I feared doing this class and I’ve been stressed about it for 3 months because I hate the word “closing”. To me “closing” is the ultimate example of sales people having the reputation we have. I identify closing with manipulation, “you say this, I say that” etc…..After thinking “how do I reframe this class”, so I feel good about it, I changed the classes mindset to replace “closing skill” with “communication styles”. How do you create a great client experience through understanding the wants and needs of your clients, based on their personality types, and listening more and talking less to understand what their personality types are”. It’s the exact same class but the mindset goes from an adversarial relationship, to a congruent one. I started the class by asking everyone “would you send a letter to all your clients bragging that you just won the MVP award in a class on closing skills”? NO. Would you send a letter to your clients stating “I just won the MVP for understanding a client’s needs and giving it to them”, YES. Same end result, different mindset. In changing my mindset in how I wanted to teach this class, I can say with confidence, it was the best I’ve done teaching.
The more we fear the less we grow. The less we fear the more we grow. Coming away from this event my biggest take away is that simple message. Growth mindset involves getting uncomfortable. Getting more comfortable getting uncomfortable involves changing my mindset. Changing my mindset involves reframing my thoughts on what is creating the fear and working through it. This exercise might sound a little too complicated but as I type this, I realize it helps me get to the root of the issue vs. just dealing with the surface level crap and hoping it sticks.
Have a great week ahead!!