Happy Sunday Everyone:
Definition of “Debt of Gratitude”: to have a reason to thank or feel grateful to another person for something good that they have done.
I remember talking to my buddy Josh Sigman a few years back, I was complaining about someone not appreciating something I had done for them. Josh being Josh simply said “you give to give, not to get, get over it”. I agree with him whole heartedly and needed the slap in the face to set me straight. With that said, people who appreciate or recognize an effort are a lot more fun to do things for. To appreciate and to recognize don’t have to come in the form of accolades. As a coach, it’s the effort of the student putting into practice what you’re coaching on. As a parent it’s a kid showing some level of respect for what you provide, in both love and material. As a spouse its so many things, talks, time, intentionality on the execution of love languages.
I found myself a few weeks back reading a book someone had sent me. It crossed my mind as I was reading it that I hadn’t even acknowledged the book being sent to me, including a very nice hand written note. Same day, I went to text someone and realized I had never responded to a paragraph they had sent me on my birthday about what our friendship meant to them. Days later, I was moving some stuff around my office and bringing some wine home that was given as a gift, and realized I had never sent a thank you note. Brandon-an amazing team member, showers the team with random/hilarious gifts, most recently he created our own NBA Team. He named me Shaq, sent me his jersey, as well as every other team member, I’ve never really said “thank you”, or how much I appreciate him being the teams temperature for fun. Maybe this isn’t for everyone, but for me, I’m realizing I either owe someone a debt of gratitude for things done, words shared, actions provided, gifts given, OR, I simply take for granted the generosity of others toward me. Having to type this out and recognize there are really only 2 ways to look at it, I’m going to error on the side of showing debts of gratitude daily. Normally having a debt is not a good thing, a debt of gratitude is different. There is nothing better than having a debt, of gratitude, because it means I owe someone something for loving me, for being kind to me, for thinking of me. My new definition of “debt of gratitude” is simply the reciprocity of appreciation.
Something I have to share, and I apologize in advance for the self-promotion but this is all happened in the past two weeks. My team and I have worked with a company for the past 5 years having to do with our CRM (client relationship management) software. The owner, Brian Sparr, has become a friend over that period of time. We have a weekly build out call with him for 30 minutes on various projects we’re working on together. 2 weeks ago he brought up brand recognition and having our own team website, naming rights, etc….he then said “Hunter, you should do something with Sunday Thoughts”. He spent 10 seconds on it, realized Sundaythoughts.com hadn’t been taken and simply told Brigitte he’d work with her to get it locked up. I thought nothing of it, he mentioned nothing to Erica/Brigitte/or myself. The only thing he had asked Brigitte for was access to the content and because we share so much with him, she didn’t think anything of it. He then followed up with me this past Friday and said “hey Hunter, go check out www.sundaythoughts.com, I built it out a little bit, let me know what you think”.
If you look at it, I don’t think you could believe that no one on my team, including me, had a single thing to do with this. I’m not exactly sure how I’m paying back this debt of gratitude but I’m looking forward to the exploration. I think it’s worth reflecting on how well, how often, and how big, you pay back your debts of gratitude. I wouldn’t consider myself an ungrateful person at all but this exercise helps me understand how much more intentional I need to be about showing it.
Have a great rest of your Sunday!