Happy Sunday Everyone:
More importantly, Happy Sunday to all of you Fathers out there. Every year I write these I will honor this great day. In part, selfishly, and laughingly, because I feel connected to a band of brothers that need to take this day in for all we can. It runs up there with our birthdays, it’s a single day where you might feel a little more comfortable having the right to relax. The other side of Father’s Day, and the more important one, is to find some appreciation and gratitude for the Fathers that put us on this earth. This is where this day separates for all of us. Some of us are incredibly connected with our fathers, some of us have no relationship with our fathers, and some of us deeply miss our fathers.
Depending on what bucket you find yourself in depends on how you look at this day. Kim lost her mom too early, Mother’s Day for her is an incredibly hard day, but also wonderful as it forces her to go back to her fondest memories of her mom and reflect. Kim being Kim, and without me knowing this until last night, has a “too early” list. This is a list of her closest friends who have lost their parents too early. Last night I caught her texting some of our friends and sharing how proud their dad’s would be if their dads could see the type of people they’ve become and the parents they are themselves to their own kids. My take away from this exercise is these close friends of ours would not want us taking for granted any opportunities we still have to tell our dad’s what they mean to us while they’re still here.
My dad is still here, I’m actually with him right now in Lake Tahoe. I’ve never been around him when he’s reading Sunday Thoughts, so this will be slightly awkward. I think it’s a good exercise for us to review what we’ve learned from our parents. Learning from your parents takes place in two forms, what you want to do because of them, and what you want to do different because of them. Thankfully for me, my dad taught me more on what I want to be vs. what I don’t.
Lessons learned from my dad could go on forever but I’ll take a few of the biggest.
1. Love and respect your spouse: 10 minutes ago my dad came down the stairs in his robe, kisses my mom on the cheek, hugs her, and say good morning, I love you. Anyone that knows my dad knows that he’s not soft. He tough as hell, but he has loved my mom for 53 years and has never taken her for granted.
2. If you’re going to do anything, do it well, and do it right. As a kid, this mentality sucked, Wash the car, do it wrong, do it again. At some point I began to realize if I just put a little more time in up front and had pride of ownership, things worked out better. This is probably my first lesson in “go slow to go fast”.
3. Excuses are worthless. It dawned on me in my 20’s that my dad could be a hard ass but as I thought through his own life, I realized that I can’t find a single time when he gave an excuse. I’m certainly guilty of “do as I say, not as I do” at times. I can honestly tell you not once in my life have I heard my dad offer up an excuse for anything. As a kid, even to this day, knowing I don’t have the luxury of excuses, it helps how I think about resolving any situation I find yourself in.
4. Age and get better. My dad (and mom) both worked their asses off to provide for my sister and I. They would tell you in hindsight at the sacrifice of quality time with us. Fast forward to today, I’ll argue they’re the best grandparents on the planet. My boys would have my dad as their best man if they were married today. Point being-he’s aged well, he’s softened up a bit, but he still leads by example, has honor in his word, and loves his family more than himself. I’d call that a decent role model and a reason to celebrate Father’s Day with him.
A great question to ask yourself is are your efforts as a dad worth celebrating? Happy Father’s Day!!